In the last article, I spoke about dealing with expectations (societal, cultural, familial) and provided the ‘T.I.P.” of 1) thinking through what you and your family desire to do during the holidays, 2) inscribing – aka writing out what you and your family’s desires are for the holidays based upon your values and 3) prioritizing that which you deem most important.

Today, I’d like to talk about another important, related concept: “Boundaries.”

So, while an extensive discussion about boundaries is beyond the scope of this series, it may be helpful to define our terms.

I think of boundaries as our personal limits based upon who we are and what we believe about ourselves, others, and God.

So often, we can struggle around the holidays because this season can expose whether we even have healthy boundaries in place.

When we do have healthy boundaries in place, we can make choices based upon our values and beliefs.

This can be helpful in a number of areas, including our time, our money, and our relationships.

For example…

If I have a certain amount of money budgeted for Christmas gifts (yes, probably not a bad idea to plan ahead of time!), and I find myself wondering whether I should buy more gifts or spend more money after I’ve already maxed out my budget, then I can recognize this and tell myself “no” OR soberly, re-evaluate my boundary and consciously make a different but still calculated decision.

If I tell myself I want to have positive, healthy interactions with people and really don’t want to be around a certain family member or acquaintance because they are overtly disrespectful and toxic in their disposition, I can decide to decline invitations to events that may involve being around this person.

If I recognize I need some down-time to recharge during the holidays, I can decide to pick and choose which events or get togethers I want to be part of. I can also proactively plan some down-time or specific ways I want to practice self-care.

I would argue that -when practice in a healthy way- having healthy boundaries is a way of expressing love for God, self, and others..which is something I personally strive for around the holidays and beyond.

What about YOU?

Do you have healthy boundaries?

If so, how do these boundaries help you prepare for this holiday season?

If not, what are some boundaries that you need to put in place?

While this can be an easy topic to grasp intellectually, it’s not always easy to put healthy boundaries into practice.

Happy Holidays,

Sean