In continuing this series on “lessons learned in struggles.” I’d like to share with you another important lesson I’ve learned having gone through struggles and walking with those who’ve gone through struggles:
Friends Matter!
At this point, we’ve talked at this point about “the value of a listening ear,” being “careful about making assumptions,” “being careful about offering unsolicited advice,” and “not being the ‘judge.’ “
When I think about the opposite of the “judge,” I think about someone who:
–is quick to listen and seeks to listen well and carefully
-tries not to make assumptions but form conclusions after careful listening
-is slow to give advice until they have heard you out
-isn’t trying to act like “the judge” and pretend they know better than you
In case you were wondering, I’d submit that these might be really good qualities to look for in someone who you would want as a friend.
And I’m not talking about a perfect friend.
It’s not that a friend never gives unsolicited advice that may not be helpful. They just generally are just careful about giving advice until they’ve heard you out.
It’s not that a friend never makes wrong assumptions. They’ll be humble enough to see when they do and apologize and try to listen more.
It’s not that a friend never feels like “the judge.” If they’re humble, they may recognize this mindset in themselves and let go of being the “judge” so they can come back to you in a more supportive, loving way.
And, obviously, these are not just good qualities to look for in a friend..but also in therapists, mentors, coaches, and other people you look to in life as you go through struggles.
As you consider what I’ve shared…
When you face struggles, do you have people in your life that fit this description?
How good and effective a friend are you when it comes to people you know facing struggles?
Let’s thrive and be and select good friends.
