In continuing this series on “lessons learned in struggles.” I’d like to share with you another important lesson I’ve learned about how to approach people who are facing struggles:
Don’t be “the judge” when it comes to others facing struggles.
We’ve talked at this point about “the value of a listening ear,” being “careful about making assumptions,” and “being careful about offering unsolicited advice.”
When I think about what happens when someone doesn’t follow this advice, he or she is someone who:
-is not quick to listen but is quick to speak
-is quick to make assumptions
-is quick to give unsolicited advice
This is exactly the kind of person who ends up being “the judge” – someone who positions themself as one who knows better and has the right to speak into others’ lives.
In reality, this person ends up coming across as condemning and judgmental.
In stark contrast, a person who has taken time to listen, to understand, and to soberly evaluate what another is going through when they face struggles is in a much better position to offer advice or even correction in a loving way.
As a person of faith, this is where I’m of the opinion that those who believe in a God who is holy, righteous, and just have an advantage in that they have the opportunity to frequently remind themselves that only God gets to be “the Judge” in the ultimate sense.
Nevertheless, the inclination to be “the judge” is inside all of us and is apt to come out in those driven by ego or pride.
As you consider what I’ve shared…
When you have faced struggles, how have you felt when people have judged you without taking time to listen or understand your situation properly?
And how much of a tendency do you notice within yourself to be judgmental about others when they are facing struggles vs. soberly evaluating what may be happening through active listening and understanding?
Let’s thrive and not seek to be “the judge.”
