In this series of articles, I’ve been addressing cultural lies that I believe impact how you and I think, believe, and live more than we might consciously realize on a day-to-day basis.
So far…
We’ve talked about the false idea that we can any of us can truly be neutral as it relates to the significant issues of life pertaining to value, morals, ethics, and conduct. If you disagree, that only proves my point!–> which is that you’re not neutral!
We’ve talked about this false idea that “your truth can be your truth and my truth can be my truth” has literally led to disastrous consequences in the world. If you disagree then remember you’re being hypocritical because you’re not letting me have my truth! :)))
We’ve talked about the false idea that you and I are “perfect, good, and whole.” This concept in no way lines up with reality though it can tickle the ears. If you disagree, you’re not making sense because now you’re questioning whether I’m perfect, good, and whole. Are we or are we not good, perfect, and whole, I’d ask you?
We’ve talked about this unhelpful but common idea that “everything you need is inside of you.” Yet you need relationships, connection, sun, water, food, etc..are those things inside of you? Clearly not. What you need is interactions with the outside world and relationships in order to grow and actualize the potential inside of you. If you believe everything you need is inside of you, why would you ever ask anyone for help or turn to people or God for anything?
We’ve talked about this notion of “following your heart.” This idea if misapplied can encourage people to tune solely into their feelings when making decisions. While we need to honor and pay attention to what’s happening inside of ourselves emotionally, we also need to make sure we are managing our feelings and not the other way around. If you believe this false idea, I’d ask you if you could ever see how feelings can mislead you into making a less than optimal decision? Surely, we can all see that?
Now to you, my reader…
If you’ve been reading this and you agree with me, I hope these articles have been helpful in giving you some language to help you in discussions with others. Feel free to pass these articles along!
But…if you’ve been reading this and you disagree with me, then this last article is especially for you and is directly from my heart to yours, if you’ll receive it.
The sixth and last cultural lie that I’d like to address is this idea that if you don’t agree with me, then you can’t and don’t love me and if I don’t agree with you, then that means I can’t or don’t love you.
I’ll let that one sink in…
See, we live in an increasingly divisive culture and an increasingly contentious world where people literally end relationships like marriages, friendships, and even family relationships over disagreements.
What happened to the days when we could have a civil disagreement or have a dialogue between people with radically different perspectives?
Now, don’t get me wrong. There may be times one needs to step away from or end a relationship if there is toxic behavior, such as disrespect, disregard, or abuse.
But what I’m specifically referring to is the phenomenon of people dividing over other things like beliefs, politics, opinions, and different perspectives in the world.
I’ve mostly seen this in this era of “identity politics” especially the last few years where people in a particular subgroup – or who are advocating for a particular subgroup – become so passionate about their subgroup cause or mission that they view anyone with a questioning view or dissenting opinion as a threat and as unloving.
However, I couldn’t disagree more.
What if there are legitimate reasons to question certain ideologies, perspectives, and beliefs? (clearly, that’s been the whole premise of this whole article series!).
I’ll put it this way. Think of someone you love, maybe a spouse, friend, family member, or child. Now, do you agree with and approve of every thought, decision, and behavior that your child engages in?
Course not! Sounds even ridiculous to ask, doesn’t it?
Yet it seems to me that lately there are many pressures on us in society to cave in to this ridiculous idea that love means I have to agree with you.
Doesn’t love also means I sometimes disagree with you and lovingly call you out on something that I believe could be wrong, harmful, and dangerous for you? And vice versa?
Does accepting or loving people really have to mean that you and I automatically agree with or approve of everything they think, believe, say, and do?
If so, I think a lot of us are in trouble! :)
And so, especially if you disagree with me here, I want you to know that that’s okay, and I love you!
If you’ve enjoyed these articles, check out this YouTube conversation I had with my awesome mental health colleague, Kimberly Christian, right here, on this very topic:
Let’s thrive in truth!
