In my first article in this series, I discussed why it’s worthwhile to engage in “metacognition” aka “thinking about our thinking.” If you read that article and accepted the challenge, you’re beginning to uncover unhelpful beliefs and learning to adopt and embrace more helpful beliefs that lead to more thriving in your life.
In each article, I contrast what I call a Thriving Life Belief (a belief that brings thriving into life), or TLB, with a Languishing Life Lie, or LLL (a belief that leads to languishing in life –> the opposite of thriving). Here’s today’s set of contrasting beliefs to consider:
TLB #2: Although we have beliefs that impact how we think and live, we are not the same, sum total, or equivalent of our beliefs and therefore our value/worth as beings is not based upon or predicated upon those thoughts/beliefs (there is a distinction between thoughts and a person experiencing those thoughts as a thinker)
LLL #2: We human beings are one and the same, the sum total, or the equivalent of our own thoughts/beliefs. We as people can be reduced or equated to our own thinking/beliefs and therefore our value/worth as human beings is based upon or predicated upon those thoughts/beliefs (there is no distinction between the thoughts and the thinker)
So, today’s article is about our very specific underlying beliefs as it relates to the relationship between the self and the thinking/beliefs of the self. So, here’s the question: are you and I equivalent to what we think or believe? In other words, can you be reduced to or equated with your own thinking/beliefs?
I’ll grant you; this DOES get a bit philosophical. Can you simply be reduced to your thoughts/beliefs? Is there a “thinker,” a person experiencing the thoughts? Hmm…believe it or not, this topic is hotly debated in philosophical circles. Well, what better way to explore this than to continue to engage in our thinking? ;)
I want to share a quick thought experiment, if you will, to see what comes up for you.
Picture this. Here’s scenario #1. A loved one, such as a relative, or close friend, comes up to you and says, “I think I’m awesome and amazing! I’m great as a provider, homemaker, or [fill in the blank]. I am doing great at work and in family life and my bank account is filled with money!” Then this person tells you that he/she believes they are better and more important than you and are worthy of worship. In fact, they seem convinced your whole life should revolve around them.
So, this person thinks that he/she is more valuable and worthy than you simply because of his/her own beliefs to that effect. But…is it true? Has their value and worth and identity somehow become greater than yours because of their thinking?
Would you think “Hmm…because this person can be equated with their thinking, I ought to worship them?”
Hold on to that answer.
Now, here’s a different scenario, scenario #2.
The same individual in the first scenario comes to you at a different point in life and shares that they believe that he/she is a worthless person because he/she is ugly, is not performing well at work, and has relationship problems including a recent loss of friendships. Then this person looks at you and questions whether or not he/she really has any reason to keep on living.
So this person thinks that he/she no longer has value because of their new beliefs. But…is it true? Has their value/worth diminished because of their own thinking about themselves and their situation?
Would you at that point think to yourself, “Hmm…because you believe your life isn’t worth it and because you are what you think, you shouldn’t go on living”?
Well, I’m curious..how did or how would you answer those questions in each of those scenarios?
Now, if you’re like most people, I’d be willing to bet that something rose up inside you in both of these scenarios…a sense of irritation, offense, or indignation in the first scenario and a sense of compassion, care, and concern in the second scenario.
But have you ever thought about why that is? I’d like to venture an educated guess based upon my life experience including years of working in mental health and being involved in mentoring/coaching communities. Believe it or not, I’ve asked many of these kinds of questions to patients and clients over the years. And I’ve arrived at this conclusion: I believe we as humans intuitively know that human life is inherently, infinitely precious and that that value and worth does not change based upon our thinking or beliefs (that’s where I came up with TLB #2).
Now, if you disagree, that’s fine but to be fair, let’s play things out. Accepting the idea that a person can simply be reduced to their own thinking/beliefs leads us to an interesting conclusion..namely, that one’s thinking/beliefs defines who/what they are and what their value/worth is (since there’s no thought/thinker distinction – “we are [quite literally] what we think”). If that’s the case, to be consistent and honor that philosophical perspective, I believe we’d be forced to admit that we’d be obliged to worship the individual in scenario #1 and we’d be justified in allowing the individual in scenario #2 to move towards his/her own self-inflicted demise.
Question:
So, what do you think? Do you buy into TLB #2 or the idea that we as people are separate from and distinct from our thoughts/beliefs and that we have an inherent value that isn’t necessarily based upon what we think or believe?
Application Challenge:
Take a little time writing answers to these questions:
Consider the individual you were thinking of in scenarios 1 & 2. Have there been times you can relate to either of these mindsets yourself?
If so, do you believe you may have been buying into LLL #2 above (that you are essentially what you think)?
How could embracing TLB #2 help produce better outcomes that lead you towards thriving in your life?
If this is challenging or you’d like to learn more about this, reach out to me and set up a discovery call. Let’s see what we can discover that will help you get unstuck and move forward so you can move towards thriving in your life!
